Advice To Spectators At TPC Boston Deutsche Bank Championship

1. Don't bring small children. The course is very long. You are going to walk far more than a small child can endure. You may even do this on the walk from the shuttle bus to the first hole.

2. Don't expect to follow one group for all 18 holes. It is not possible due to the fact that players follow direct paths between holes and are given rides on some of the longer paths, while spectators always walk on much longer paths and must stop at fairway crossings or when the path comes close to players on a neighboring hole. For example, there is simply no way that you'll see a group on the 8th hole if you watched that group on the 7th, because they ride and you walk... a very, very long distance. If you're very, very, good at finding the best positions, and the crowd is not at its peak, you might be able to see one group for all or parts of 14 or 15 holes.

3. Don't bring small children, even in a stroller. It's a 7400 yard course, with long paths between holes. If you stay on the paved cart paths where the stroller works well, you're not going to see much. If you leave the cart paths, you're going to have problems manoeuvring with the stroller. You're also going to get in the way of people who are trying to keep up a faster pace than you'll be able to maintain.

4. Don't bring your cell phone. They're not going to let you bring it in. And if do you sneak it in, you're going to piss a lot of people off.

5. Don't bring small children. Golf is a long duration quiet activity. Small children are not normally quiet for long durations, and it is unfair to expect them to be.

6. Do be nice to the volunteers and officials. They've been standing out in the sun longer than you have, and they actually do know how to run a golf tournament better than you do.

7. Did I mention not bringing small children?

8. Don't complain about the concession prices. They're high, but everyone knows it already. Plus, you've seen worse.

9. Children... Small... No.

10. Leave shouting "GO IN THE HOLE" after every putt to the highly paid professional "GO IN THE HOLE" shouters who are already in position at every green. The balls really don't need any more encouragement, and they're actually more likely to be distracted from their objective by amateur shouters.

11. Something about children. What was it? Oh yeah... For Pete's sake! Don't bring them!